Last Night, It Was So Cold, The

Happiness Is Being Served With A Paternity Suit On Your 75th Birthday.

The Champagne They Have Stored Is Getting More Valuable Every Year.

People Are Hypocrites. If You Ask Them What They Want To See On Tv, They'll Tell You They Want Better Quality Programming. And Then What Do They Watch? 'gilligan's Island.'

Married Men Live Longer Than Single Men. But Married Men Are A Lot More Willing To Die.

Money Gives Me Just One Big Thing That's Really Important, And That's The Freedom Of Not Having To Worry About Money.