Last Year My Wife Ran Off With

I'm Not Saying My Mother Didn't Like Me, But She Kept Looking For Loopholes In My Birth Certificate.

I'm The Most Unromantic Lump Of Northern Suet. Yes, A Woman Did Accost Me Once In South Shields, But She Had A Face Like Red Rum.

My Mother-in-law's So Fat That When She Passes Her Handbag From Hand To Hand She Throws It.

I Saw Six Men Kicking And Punching The Mother-in-law. My Neighbour Said 'are You Going To Help?' I Said 'no, Six Should Be Enough.'

Slumps Don't Bother Me.