Laugh Now, Cry Later.

Why Would Anyone Steal A Shopping Cart? It's Like Stealing A Two-year-old.

Don't Confuse Fame With Success. Madonna Is One; Helen Keller Is The Other.

If I Had My Life To Live Over I Would Have Burned The Pink Candle Sculpted Like A Rose Before It Melted In Storage.

When A Child Is Locked In The Bathroom With Water Running And He Says He's Doing Nothing But The Dog Is Barking, Call 911.

If You Can't Make It Better, You Can Laugh At It.