Let Me Tell You The Truth: The

Children Ought To Watch Pornographic Movies: It's Healthier Than Learning About Sex From Hollywood.

I Tried The Religion Scam In Miami, So I Know How Hard That Gig Is. But, If You Can Get It To Work, Starting Your Own Religion Is A License To Print Money.

You Got To Pay Your Dues To Get The Joke. Besides, Laughter Is Cheap And Very Portable. If There's A Pogrom, Or They're Blaming You For The Plague, Nothing Is Easier To Pack Than A Sense Of Humor.

Once The Country Was Settled And Built, The Bosses Changed The Order From A Stack Of Educated Workers To A Barrel Of Minimum Wage Lottery Dreamers.

I Hate Small Towns Because Once You've Seen The Cannon In The Park There's Nothing Else To Do.