Life Experience Is The Best Teacher.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Met With President Bush. It's Amazing If You Think About It. It Was The Terminator And The One-term-inator.

Osama Bin Laden Was Living In That Compound With Three Wives. It's Like He Was Newt Gingrich.

Do You Remember When You Found Out There Was No Santa Claus? I Was So Upset I Didn't Think I'd Be Able To Do The Show.

Happy Birthday To Fay Wray, A Wonderful Actress. She Was, Of Course, In The Movie 'king Kong' And Would Have Been 99-years-old Today. She Was Famous Because Of Her Love Interest With A Giant Ape, And, Wait A Minute, That's Maria Shriver.

I'll Be Honest With You. It's Beginning To Look Like I'm Not Going To Get 'the Tonight Show.'