Life Is A Series Of Relapses And

I Got The Breaks. Starting From Nowhere In The Corn Belt, I Helped Edit A Country Weekly, Then Was Jack-of-all-departments On An Obscure Daily, So That When I Arrived In A Big City Everything I Tackled In The Line Of Column Conducting And Syndicate Peddling And Playwriting Had To Bring Promotion, Because I Had No Social Standing Which Could Be Endangered, No Reputation To Toss Away And No Pride Which Might Suffer A Setback. Everything I Acquired Had To Be Velvet. You Cannot Lose Your Silver Spoon If You Are Brought Up On Pewter.

The Only Literary Men Are Those Who Have To Work At It.

A Friend Who Is Near And Dear May In Time Become As Useless As A Relative.

Never Pretend To Have Money Except When You Are In Straits. The Poor Man Who Pretends To Have A Bank Account Betters His Credit And Takes No Risk. But The Prosperous Individual Who Counts His Money In The Street, Forthwith Will Be Invited To Attend A Charity Bazaar.

One Man's Poison Ivy Is Another Fellow's Spinach.