Line Printer Paper Is Strongest At The

Toaster: A Gift That Every Member Of The Family Appreciates. Automatically Burns Toast.

My Theory Is That There Is A Finite Amount Of Intelligence In A Family, And You're Supposed To Gradually Transfer It To Your Children Over A Period Of Many Years. This Is Why Your Parents Started To Get So Stupid Just At The Time In Your Life When You Were Getting Really Smart.

Meetings Are Places Where Dead Ideas Rise From Their Graves And Eat The Brains Of The Living.

Maybe Somebody Finally Shot The Dog.

I Watched As An Extremely Nerdy Exhibitor - I'm Talking About A Guy Who Makes Bill Gates Look Like Brad Pitt.