Marriage Is Just An Elaborate Game That

My Parenting Style Could Be Described As Not Good Cop Or Bad Cop So Much As Nervous Cop. I'm Always Yelling For Somebody To Stop Because They're About To Get Hurt. I'm The Take A Jacket, Slow Down Guy.

By Shrewdly Linking Procreation To An Act Likely To Make You Stupid With Excitement, God Has Seen To It That Life Does Indeed Go On. It's Possible, By The Way, That This Is Why God's Name Comes Up So Often In The Middle Of The Act; It's A Salute To The Author: Hey, Whoever Made This Up - Thanks.

I'm Not Smart Enough To Write About Something That Didn't Actually Happen To Me. But I Couldn't Write A Space Movie If You Put A Gun To My Head.

Middle Names Are Kind Of Like Vice Presidents: It's A Fine Distinction And Certainly An Honor, But You're Never Not Aware That Someone Else Got The Real Job.

The First Time I Tried To Put A New Diaper On My Baby, I Yanked The Little Velcro Strap Too Jerkily And Actually Punched The Little Guy In The Jaw. A Real Solid Shot, Too. I Knew Instinctively That This Could Not Be Correct. Unless You're Specifically Trying To Raise A Welterweight, Continual Deliverance Of Powerful Uppercuts Is Not Advised When Handling Newborns.