May You Have The Income Of A

I'm An Entertainer; I Try To Give The Public What It Wants While I'm On The Screen, And I'm Completely Sincere About It. If I Don't Happen To Be A Laughing Boy Off The Screen, That Doesn't Make Me A Hypocrite Or A Phony.

If Variety Is The Spice Of Life, Marriage Is The Big Can Of Leftover Spam.

I Know You've Been Married To The Same Woman For 69 Years. That Is Marvelous. It Must Be Very Inexpensive.

Some Sad News From Australia... The Inventor Of The Boomerang Grenade Died Today.

The Difference Between Divorce And Legal Separation Is That Legal Separation Gives A Husband Time To Hide His Money.