Men Like A Ref Decision Because They

I Hate The Waiting Room. Because It's Called The Waiting Room, There's No Chance Of Not Waiting. It's Built, Designed, And Intended For Waiting. Why Would They Take You Right Away When They've Got This Room All Set Up?

I Can't Eat Chicken And Look At Strippers At The Same Time.

The Best Piece Of Advice I Received Before I Got Married Was, "be Careful What You Say When You're In A Fight, Because It Could Stick In Someone's Head." I Don't Think I've Ever Said Anything I Really Regretted. I'm Very Sympathetic To Women. I've Really Studied Wife-ology, And I Know You've Got To Figure Out The Feelings. Deal With The Feelings.

There's No Downside To Fame And People Who Whine About It Make Me Sick. It's The Greatest Thing In The World.

Our Good Time Is Sitting In A Coffee Shop With A Newspaper, Writing A Line On The Back Of A Napkin. That Is The Most Fun Comedians Ever Have