Men Who Drink Herbal Teas Are Seldom

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.

I'm Not Sure If My Husband Is Going To Be There When I Actually Have The Baby. He Said The Only Way He's Going To Be In The Room When There's A Delivery Is If There's A Pizza Involved.

If You're Dating A Man Who You Think Might Be "mr. Right," If He A) Got Older, B) Got A New Job, Or C) Visited A Psychiatrist, You Are In For A Nasty Surprise. The Cocoon-to-butterfly Theory Only Works On Cocoons And Butterflies.

Some Women Hold Up Dresses That Are So Ugly And They Always Say The Same Thing: 'this Looks Much Better On.' On What? On Fire?

Husband: A Man Who Buys His Football Tickets Four Months In Advance And Waits Until The Day Before His Anniversary To Buy His Wife A Gift.