Mtv Is To Music As Kfc Is

I'm A Happy Person But An Angry Citizen.

It's A Shame Cars Don't Run On Cognitive Dissonance.

The Worst Thing About Halloween Is, Of Course, Candy Corn. It's Unbelievable To Me. Candy Corn Is The Only Candy In The History Of America That's Never Been Advertised. And There's A Reason. All Of The Candy Corn That Was Ever Made Was Made In 1911. And So, Since Nobody Eats That Stuff, Every Year There's A Ton Of It Left Over.

Now, They Say That New Zealand Is Beautiful And I Do Not Know -- Because After 22 Hours On A Plane Any Landmass Would Be Beautiful.

Turns Out We've Been Eating The Wrong Things...since The Dawn Of Civilisation