My Big Concern Is Me And What

I Never Can Satisfy Some Need In Me To Achieve Something Of Incredible Hight. For My Sake. It Puzzles Me Deeply. And It Sours My Life. So There Is A Permanent Dissatisfaction.

I Have To Accept My Role. I Will Never Kill Myself Like Vincent Van Gogh. Nor Will I Paint Beautiful Water Lilies Like Monet. I Can't Do That. I'm In The Idiot Role Of Being A Kiddie Book Person.

If Life Is So Critical, If Anne Frank Could Die, If My Friend Could Die, Children Were As Vulnerable As Adults, And That Gave Me A Secret Purpose To My Work, To Make Them Live. Because I Wanted To Live. I Wanted To Grow Up.

You Know Who My Gods Are, Who I Believe In Fervently? Herman Melville, Emily Dickinson - She's Probably The Top - Mozart, Shakespeare, Keats. These Are Wonderful Gods Who Have Gotten Me Through The Narrow Straits Of Life.

My Brother, Who Was Older, Was The Gifted One, Much More Talented Than I.