My Body's In Such Bad Shape I

In Most States You Can Get A Driver's License When You're Sixteen Years Old, Which Made A Lot Of Sense To Me When I Was Sixteen Years Old But Now Seems Insane.

My Sister Was So Promiscuous She Broke Her Ankle In The Glove Compartment Of A Car.

I'm Eighteen Years Behind In My Ironing. There's No Use Doing It Now, It Doesn't Fit Anybody I Know.

I Like To Serve Chocolate Cake, Because It Doesn't Show The Dirt.

Isn't My Fur Stole Pitiful? How Unsuccessful Can A Girl Look? People Think I'm Wearing Anchovies. The Worst Of It Is, I Trapped These Under My Own Sink.