My Dad's Like, If Your Mom And

I Don't Roll Like That But I've Never Been With A Hooker Either. Yeah, That's Good To Say In An Interview Cause I Feel Bad A Little Because People Grew Up Watching Me And That's A Little Disturbing.

Just Went To A Lovely Catholic Wedding. I Need A Drink. They Didn't Even Offer Us Water. Well They Did, But It Was Holy Water.

What I've Learned About Comedy People Is That They're Defined By The Harshest Level They've Been To, Their Personal Auschwitz.

Words Matter. Especially If You're Kicking Someone's Ass In Words With Friends.

The Secret To Raising Children Is To Love Them... And Teach Them To Operate In A Way You Can Tolerate Them The Best.