My Father Fought In World War I

What's The Difference Between A Rottweiler And A Poodle Peeing On Your Leg? You Let The Rottweiler Finish.

I Was In The Far East And I Went Into A Restaurant And I Ordered Octopus And The Waiter Said: "it Takes Four Hours." I Asked Why And He Said: "it Keeps Turning Off The Gas."

An Englishman, An Irishman And A Scotsman Walk Into A Bar. The Barman Looks At Them And Says: "is This Some Kind Of A Joke?"

A Man Goes Into Boots And Says: "have You Got Any Viagra?" "do You Have A Prescription?" Asks The Chemist. "no," He Replies, "but 'i've Got A Photograph Of The Wife."

My Uncle Jimmy Took Liver Salts Twice A Day For 40 Years. He Died On Sunday, Was Buried Wednesday And The Following Friday They Had To Go To The Cemetery To Beat His Liver To Death With A Stick.