My Forte Is Awkwardness.

Inappropriateness Is Funny To Me. Rudeness Is Hilarious.

My Brother Has Add, Which Is Weird Because He Drives A Ford Focus. I Told My Brother That Joke But He Didn't Laugh Because He Got Distracted By My Shoe Strings.

We All Know How Funny Morrissey Is. Actually, You Know What? I Say That Sarcastically. His Songs Are Some Of The Funniest Songs I've Ever Heard In My Life. I Mean, Really. I Mean, Not That The "girlfriend In A Coma" Is, Like, Really Funny.

I Live In Los Angeles And I Had Been Drinking One Night, So I Was On The Walk Of Fame And I Saw Tony Danza's Star And I Started Urinating On It. Just Yelling Out, 'who's The Boss Now?'

When You're Doing Standup You're Kind Of Doing, "hey. I Thought Of This. This May Be Funny.