My Life Is Perfect Even When It's

Have You Seen The Deer Heads On The Walls Of Bars, The Ones Wearing Party Hats, Sunglasses And Streamers? I Feel Sorry For Them Because Obviously They Were At A Party Having A Good Time.

What Would Bug The Taliban More Than Seeing A Gay Woman In A Suit Surrounded By Jews?

In The 80's We Had High, High, Waisted Pants, That If They Came Up Any Higher They'd Have To Go Up Another Size, If You Know What I Mean.

Dan: 'ah, Well, I Hope This Didn't Have Anything To Do With Me.' Ellen: 'no, Not Unless You Played Cat Woman In Batman.

It's Such An Honor To Receive The Mark Twain Prize. To Get The Same Award That Has Been Given To People Like Bill Cosby, Tina Fey And Will Ferrell, It Really Makes Me Wonder… Why Didn't I Get This Sooner?