My Mind Says One Thing, But My

I Was Making Pancakes The Other Day And A Fly Flew Into The Kitchen. And That's When I Realized That A Spatula Is A Lot Like A Fly-swatter. And A Crushed Fly Is A Lot Like A Blueberry. And A Roommate Is A Lot Like A Fly Eater.

A Good Name For A Gang Would Be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.

I Walk Around And Think About Things. When I Come Across A Thought That Makes Me Laugh, I Write It Down. Then, At Night, I Say The Thought To People Through A Microphone. I Don't Think About Politics Or Pop Culture Very Much, So Those Thoughts Don't Often Make It To The Microphone.

'sort Of' Is Such A Harmless Thing To Say... Sort Of. It's Just A Filler. Sort Of... It Doesn't Really Mean Anything. But After Certain Things, Sort Of Means Everything. Like... After "i Love You"... Or "you're Going To Live."

I Never Went Bungee Jumping. The Closest I Did Was I Was Born.