My Son Did Not Show Signs Of

Some Say Our National Pastime Is Baseball. Not Me. It's Gossip.

With Girls, Everything Looks Great On The Surface. But Beware Of Drawers That Won't Open. They Contain A Three-month Supply Of Dirty Underwear, Unwashed Hose, And Rubber Bands With Blobs Of Hair In Them.

No Baby Shall At Any Time Be Quartered In A House Where There Are No Soft Laps, No Laughter, Or No Love.

If God Had Meant Us To Walk Around Naked, He Would Never Have Invented The Wicker Chair.

One Meal A Day Is Enough For A Lion And Would Be For All Of Us If All We Did All Day Was Swat Flies.