My Stand-up Act? I Combine The Fact

I'm Quietly Becoming New York's Premiere Actor. People Don't Understand. They Have Me Pigeon-holed As A Comedian.

Marie Antoinette Was Funny, I'm Sure She Was Just Misinterpreted. You Know The 'let Them Eat Cake' Line. She Seems Like She Was Kind Of Funny, Like A Chelsea Handler Or Kathy Griffin Type.

The Earth Is A Used Kleenex On The Universe's Nightstand.

People Say History Is Boring, And That Is True Because People Are Boring. We Haven't Changed Since Time Began. We're Still The Same.

I Don't Know Any Comedian Who Tailors His Act To His Audience. Maybe People Say They Do, But I Can't Even Imagine Them.