Nah," I Said. "but If It Does,

I Sat Up, Sliding Them Off, And The Quiet Around Me Did Not, For Once, Seem Empty And Vast. Instead, For The First Time In A While, It Felt Like It Already Was Full.

When You've Never Gotten Love From Someone, You Don't Know What It Might Look Like If It Ever Does Appear. You Look For It In Everything: Any Bright Light Overhead Could Be A Star.

It Was Like When You're A Little Kid And You Run Into Your Teacher Or Librarian At The Grocery Store Or Wal-mart And It's Just So Startling, Because It Never Occurred To You They Existed Outside Of School.

Growing Up Means :propelling Yourself Forward Into Whatever Lies Ahead, One Turn Of The Wheel At A Time.

That Was The Thing. You Never Got Used To It, The Idea Of Someone Being Gone. Just When You Think It's Reconciled, Accepted, Someone Points It Out To You, And It Just Hits You All Over Again, That Shocking.