Never Argue With A Drunk Or A

Make No Mistake About It, You Are Dumb. You’re A Group Of Incredibly Well-educated Dumb People. I Was There. We All Were There. You’re Barely Functional. There Are Some Screw-ups Headed Your Way. I Wish I Could Tell You That There Was A Trick To Avoiding The Screw-ups, But The Screw-ups, They’re A-coming For Ya. It’s A Combination Of Life Being Unpredictable, And You Being Super Dumb.

I've Never Met Anyone Who Has Said, "my Goal Is To Make America Mediocre." That's A Kind Of Hard-right Conservative Fallacy.

I'll Get Cast Occasionally As Sort Of The Jerk Version Of Myself, And I Have Fun Doing That. But It's Really Better For Everyone If I Stay Behind The Camera.

You're Going To Fall Down, But The World Doesn't Care How Many Times You Fall Down, As Long As It's One Fewer Than The Numbers Of Times You Get Back Up.

I Would Love For People To Think That I Am As Quick, Clever, Smart And Heroic As The Characters That I Write, But Those Characters Are Characters.