Never Slap A Man Who's Chewing Tobacco.

It's No Laughing Matter Being A Republican In These Perilous Times. Anyone Can Be A Republican When The Stock Market Is Up, But When Stocks Are Selling For No More Than They're Worth, I Tell You, Being A Republican - It's A Sacrifice.

Too Many People Spend Money They Haven't Earned To Buy Things They Don't Want To Impress People They Don't Like.

A Woman Can Make A Man Feel Older Or Younger Than His Years If She So Chooses. Being A Woman Is A Terribly Difficult Task Since It Consists Principally In Dealing With Men. Women Were Made With A Sense Of Humor So They Could Love Men Instead Of Laughing At Them.

The Problem Ain't What People Know. It's What People Know That Ain't So That's The Problem.

Being A Hero Is About The Shortest-lived Profession On Earth.