Never Trust The Food In A Restaurant

By The Time They're Ready To Be Thrown Away, Most Shoes Are Thoroughly Comfortable

Not Many People In This World Are As Lucky As I've Been. ... All This Time I've Been Paid To Say What Is On My Mind On Television. You Don't Get Any Luckier In Life Than That.

Christians Talk As Though Goodness Was Their Idea But Good Behavior Doesn't Have Any Religious Origin. Our Prisons Are Filled With The Devout.

It's Best To Give Advice In Only Two Circumstances; When It's Requested, And When It's A Life Threatening Situation.

There Are Sixteen Cans Of Coffee Here; Together They Hold A Total Of Thirteen And A Half Pounds Of Coffee. Doesn't That Seem Like Cheating?