Nike Actually Has A Pair Of Shoes

The University Of Nebraska Says That Elderly People That Drink Beer Or Wine At Least Four Times A Week Have The Highest Bone Density. They Need It - They're The Ones Falling Down The Most.

Soup Is Probably A Way Associated With Screwing You Outside Of A Meal.

According To The L.a. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft Wants To Take "a Harder Stance" On The Death Penalty. What's A Harder Stance On The Death Penalty? We're Already Killing The Guy? How Do You Take A Harder Stance On The Death Penalty? What, Are You Going To Tickle Him First? Give Him Itching Powder? Put A Thumbtack On The Electric Chair?

President Bush Appeared With Arnold Schwarzenegger At A Huge Campaign Event. Only In California Can A Governor Who Speaks German And A President Who Can Barely Speak English Try To Make Themselves Clear To An Audience That's Primarily Spanish.

House Speaker John Boehner Says President Obama Should Have Clearly Outlined His Exact Plans Before Bombing Libya. Apparently It's Only Iraq Where You Don't Have To Do That.