Not All Shabby Is Chic, Just Like

In Every Woman's Wardrobe, There Are Certain Accessories That Cannot Be Separated From Their Back Stories.

Like Most Citizens Of Popular And International Urban Centres, I Don't Take Advantage Of The Cultural Opportunities. Perhaps This Comes From Growing Up In Suburbia. Home Is Where You Eat, Sleep, Read, Watch Television And Ignore Your Parents. It Is Not Where You Go To The Ballet And Then Attend A Heated Panel Discussion About It Afterwards.

I Think The Goal With Any Writing, But Especially Narrative Nonfiction, Is To Put The Blockade Of Putting Your Thoughts In This Unnatural Medium Of Print And Then Trying To Reach Through That And Actually Convey What's Going On, What You Think, And Make People Laugh And Recognize Themselves While Doing It. Definitely The Laughing Thing.

I Was Diagnosed With A Severe Temporal Spatial Deficit, A Learning Disability That Means I Have Zero Spatial Relations Skills. It Was Official: I Was A Genius Trapped In An Idiot's Body.

When I Was Nine Years Old, I Wrote A Short Story Called 'how To Build A Snowman,' From Which No Practical Snowperson-crafting Techniques Could Be Gleaned. The Story Was An Assignment For Class And It Featured A Series Of Careful But Meaningless Instructions. Of Course, The Building Of The Snowman Was A Red Herring.