Not Only Is My Wardrobe Totally Average,

In An Attempt To Make Things Easier For Myself, Which Is The Basis For All Of History's Worst Decisions [...].

If You Care About [the Characters] As If They Were Real, That Always Helps.

Pentagon Records Show That At Least 8,000 Members Of The All-volunteer U.s. Army Have Deserted Since The Iraq War Began. Hey, At Least Somebody Has An Exit Strategy.

Some People Work With A Trainer, Some People Work With A Stylist. I Work With A Celebrity Fecalist. A Fecalist Is Basically A Person Who Comes And Collects My Stools, And Then Examines Them To See If I'm Eating Right And If I Should Be Drinking More Water And What My Moods Should Be.

When I Was Going To School In, Like, '84 To '88, You Didn't Have Cell Phones. There Was No E-mail, If You Can Wrap Your Brain Around That.