Nothing Is Free. You Got To Pay

The Audience. They See The Name Mel Brooks, They Want Something Really Funny. They Don't Want To Be Moved; They Don't Want To Be Taught Any Lessons. [...] I Get More Letters For twelve Chairs and life Stinks Than I Get From Any Other Movies, Because People Actually Agree With The Philosophy, Or Were Moved, Or They Love The Movie.

Don’t Be Stupid, Be A Smarty / Come And Join The Nazi Party!

If Presidents Can't Do It To Their Wives, They Do It To Their Country.

Being Short Never Bothered Me For Three Seconds. The Rest Of The Time I Wanted To Commit Suicide.

Let's Have A Merry Journey, And Shout About How Light Is Good And Dark Is Not. What We Should Do Is Not Future Ourselves So Much. We Should Now Ourselves. "now Thyself" Is More Important Than "know Thyself." Reason Is What Tells Us To Ignore The Present And Live In The Future. So All We Do Is Make Plans. We Think That Somewhere There Are Going To Be Green Pastures. It's Crazy. Heaven Is Nothing But A Grand, Monumental Instance Of Future. Listen, Now Is Good. Now Is Wonderful.