Now All Of Us Can Talk To

Earlier Today, We Got A Call From Stephen Hawking. He's A Genius, And After 6,028 Shows He Ran The Numbers And He Said It Works Out To About Eight Minutes Of Laughter.

I Think O.j. Protests Too Much. Not Only Did He Say He Didn't Carve The Holiday Turkey, But He Was In The Back Yard Practicing His Golf Swing The Whole Time.

In Hollywood, Oscar Is King.

Keep In Mind That Your Individual Vote Doesn't Mean Anything.

At The Apple Store, The People Waiting In Line For The Iphone 6 Were Trampled By The People Waiting For The Iphone 7.