Of All The Ways People Save Time,

My Sister Is Going To Have A Simple Wedding. Just Immediate Family. And Whoever The Hell Would Want To Marry Her.

I'm Interested In Doing Some Acting In The Future, But It's A Distant Second To Stand Up.

My Favorite Part Of Going To A Wedding Is Ruining The Wedding.

My Girlfriend Is Despicable. I Just Found Out She Flirted With My Brother, During My Mom's Funeral, While I Was Asleep.

I Grew Up In A Poor Family. I Had To Cut Everyone's Hair, Because We Didn't Have Money For Entertainment.