On Some Level Any Appearance On Television

I Feel Bad For People Who Have Never Been Addicted To Anything, Because They're The Real Losers. You Want To Know Why? Because They Don't Know What It's Like To Really Want Something - And Then Get It Again And Again And Again.

Show Business Is One Of The Few Businesses That The Devil Will Actually Agree To Own Just A Portion Of Your Soul Because He Knows If You Have A Performer's Ego You Were Probably Working For Him All Along.

There's Nothing More Horrifying Than The Possibility Or The Idea That You Will Just Fade Away Into Obscurity.

They Are Not Testing Comics For Drugs. If Our Job Is Dependent On That, There Would Be Three Working Comics In The Country, And Two Of Them Would Have Puppets.

How Complicated Can Ice Cream Flavors Be? How Much Can You Put In There? I Mean, When The Flavor's Something Like Banana Ice Cream With Caramel, Fudge Chunks, Cheddar Goldfish And Pennies - You've Got To Draw A Line There.