One Of The Chief Duties Of The

You Want To Go Easy On The Suicide Stuff - First Thing You Know, You'll Ruin Your Health.

It Took Me Fifteen Years To Discover I Had No Talent For Writing, But I Couldn't Give It Up Because By That Time I Was Too Famous.

Nothing Makes A Man Feel Older Than To Hear A Band Coming Up The Street And Not To Have The Impulse To Rush Downstairs And Out On To The Sidewalk.

It Must Be A Source Of Great Chagrin To Those In Charge To Think Of So Many People Being Able To Stick A Stamp On A Letter And Drop It In A Mail Box Without Any Trouble Or Suffering At All. They Are Probably Working On A System This Very Minute, Trying To Devise Some Way In Which The Public Can Be Made To Fill Out A Blank, Stand In Line, Consult Some Underling Who Will Refer Him To A Superior, And Then Be Made To Black Up With Burned Cork Before They Can Mail A Letter.

The Only Cure For A Real Hangover Is Death.