One Of The First Things I Said

I Love Watching People Get Hit In The Crotch. But Only If They Get Back Up. If Their Teeth Are Bleeding, If They're Really Hurt, If An Ambulance Has To Come, I'm Not Laughing.

It's Okay To Get Stoned, As Long As Its Not By Other People.

My Wife Is A Saint. She's Gandhi. She Walks Around In Diapers And Won't Eat.

Around Comics, I've Always Been Known For, Oh, That's Not Dirty, This Is Dirty.

I Love Telling Stories And Acting And Entertaining People. I Don't Want To Make Fun Of People.