Oops! I Always Thought Peta Stood For

The Most Common Thing That Real Reporters Say To Me Is, "i Wish I Could Say What You Say." What I Don't Understand Is, Why Can't They Say What I Say, Even In Their Own Way? Does That Mean They Want To Be Able To Name Certain Bald Contradictions Or Hypocrisies That Politicians Have?

I Imagined Myself Living In New York In Some Sort Of Open, Large But Sparse Studio Apartment With A Lot Of Blond Wood And A Futon On The Floor And A Bubbling Samovar Of Tea In The Background And A Big Beard - Living Alone But With My Beard - And Doing Theater. That's What I Thought My Life Would Be.

Ghost Of Bobby: No, No You Can't Eat Me. I'm A Ghost. Stephen Colbert: That Just Means That There's Less Bones To Pick Out.

I Believe In Pulling Yourself Up By Your Own Bootstraps. I Believe It Is Possible — I Saw This Guy Do It Once In Cirque Du Soleil. It Was Magical.

If Corporations Are People, I Guarantee You That A Government Of Those People, By Those People, And For Those People Will Continue To Exist.