Over The Years I Have Met A

... I Could Have Said Something Profound, But You Would Have Forgotten It In 15 Minutes - Which Is The Afterlife Of A Graduation Speech.

We Seem To Be Going Through A Period Of Nostalgia, And Everyone Seems To Think Yesterday Was Better Than Today. I Don't Think It Was, And I Would Advise You Not To Wait Ten Years Before Admitting Today Was Great. If You're Hung Up On Nostalgia, Pretend Today Is Yesterday And Just Go Out And Have One Hell Of A Time.

As My Good Friend Al Capp Told Me A Few Years Ago, The Best Thing To Do With A Confirmed [hotel] Reservation Slip When You Have No Room Is To Spread It Out On The Sidewalk In Front Of The Hotel And Go To Sleep On It. You'll Either Embarrass The Hotel Into Giving You A Room Or You'll Be Hauled Off To The Local Jug, Where At Least You'll Have A Roof Over Your Head.

Television Has A Real Problem. They Have No Page Two.

I Have No Idea Where I'm Going But Here's The Real Question: What Am I Doing Here In The First Place?