Paris Hilton Got 45 Days In Jail.

Scientists In Australia Are Working On Making Biodegradable Car Parts Out Of Hemp. This Might Get Confusing. When Someone Says, Roll Up The Window, They Might Mean, Roll Up The Window!

Tonight The Republican Presidential Candidates Had A Big Debate, 10 Candidates. The Last Time That Many Rich White Guys Got Together, I Think Exxon Merged With Mobil.

A New Study Found That People Who Are Depressed Have A Greater Risk Of Stroke. Well That Should Cheer Them Up.

Give A Man A Fish And He Will Eat For A Day. Teach A Man To Fish And He Will Eat For A Lifetime. Teach A Man To Create An Artificial Shortage Of Fish And He Will Eat Steak.

President Bush Said This Iraq Situation Looks Like 'the Rerun Of A Bad Movie.' Well Sure, There's A Bush In The White House, The Economy's Going To Hell, We're Going To War Over Oil. I've Seen This Movie, Haven't I?