Paris Hilton Got 45 Days In Jail.

A Congressman Actually Apologized To Bp's Ceo For The Way The Company Has Been Treated. How Stupid Are You When The Ceo Of Bp Is In The Room And People Think You're The Moron?

Here's An Uplifting Story. Congratulations To The Little League Team From Huntington Beach, California. Yeah, They Beat Japan To Win The Little League World Series. That's Pretty Good. See, That Proves That When Math And Science Aren't Involved, Our Kids Can Beat Anybody.

President Obama Was In Disney World Today Where He Unveiled His New Plan To Create Jobs. He Was Joined By Mickey Mouse And Minnie Mouse But Not Goofy. He Had To Stay Behind To Tend To His Vice Presidential Duties.

John Kerry Has Apologized For Saying Those Who Do Not Study Hard And Do Their Homework Will Get Stuck In Iraq. Now, Those That Do Not Campaign Well And Are Boring Will End Up Stuck In The Senate.

Hey, Barack Obama Had To Give Up His Blackberry. He's The First Wired President. ... He Might Have To Give His Blackberry Because Of Security Reasons. Because They're Easy To Hack Into. In Fact, When Obama Heard He Might Have To Give It Up, He Said, 'omg! Wtf?' I Mean, He Couldn't Believe It.