People Hate Me Because I Am A

It'll Keep You Alive For Another 10 Years If You Get Yourself A Laugh Once A Day: Either Provoke It, Or Look Around In The Wildest Laboratory In The World, The Public.

Don't You Understand How Dramatic It Is To Be A Comic? To Be A Fool, To Get People To Laugh At This Show-off? Milton Berle Could Take Laurence Olivier And Stick Him Under The Table If He Wanted To. And So Could I.

From 1936 On, I Have Taken More Falls Than Any Other 20 Comedians Put Together. From The Time I Was 21, I've Taken Them On Everything From Clay Courts To Cement To Wood Floors, Coming Off Pianos, Going Out A Two-story Window, Landing On Dean, Falling Into The Rough. You Do That And You're Gonna Have Problems.

I Have A Loyalty That Runs In My Bloodstream, When I Lock Into Someone Or Something, You Can't Get Me Away From It Because I Commit That Thoroughly. That's In Friendship, That's A Deal, That's A Commitment. Don't Give Me Paper - I Can Get The Same Lawyer Who Drew It Up To Break It. But If You Shake My Hand, That's For Life.

I Think The Cartoons That They're Children Are Watching, Particularly 'the Simpsons,' They're Ok. I Think That The Adult Audience Is Making Much Too Much Of The Danger That They Imply. That's Not The Case. The Danger For Children Today, Honey, Is The News. Keep Them Away From News On Television.