People Who Say You're Just As Old

Grass Is The Least Rewarding Of All Status Symbols... The Grass Does Nothing But Drink Money, Exhaust Energies, Crush Spirits, Destroy Sleep, Create Tensions And Interfere With The Watching Of Baseball Games, And Sprout Insolent Signs Ordering Humans To Keep Off It.

The French Fried Potato Has Become An Inescapable Horror In Almost Every Public Eating Place In The Country. 'french Fries', Say The Menus, But They Are Not French Fries Any Longer. They Are A Furry-textured Substance With The Taste Of Plastic Wood.

There Was Scarcely A Woman Alive, It Seemed, Who Could Resist The Urge To Haul Men Down Onto Beds, Car Seats, Kitchen Floors, Dining-room Tables, Park Grass, Parlor Sofas, Or Packing Crates, Entwine Warm Thighs Around Them, And Pant In Ecstasy.

Happiness Is A Small And Unworthy Goal For Something As Big And Fancy As A Whole Lifetime, And Should Be Taken In Small Doses.

Skinny Women Don't Enjoy Being Told They're Skinny Nowadays. They Enjoy Telling You How They Got That Way, As Though Starvation Were An Achievement.