Poor People Have More Fun Than Rich

Statistics Show That Many People Watch Our Show From The Bedroom. And People You Ask Into Your Bedroom Have To Be More Interesting Than Those You Ask Into Your Living Room. I Kid You Not!

As I Was Saying Before I Was Interrupted ... I Believe The Last Thing I Said Was 'there Must Be A Better Way To Make A Living Than This.' Well, I've Looked - And There Isn't.

Immigration Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery.

Then There Was The Time In Hollywood When I Sat Down In A Breakaway Chair And It Collapsed On Me. I Was Nearly Knocked Out And Might Have Been Even More Seriously Hurt But My Fall Was Broken By The Smog.

I Have Never Seen A Bad Television Program, Because I Refuse To. God Gave Me A Mind, And A Wrist That Turns Things Off.