Radio As We Know It Is Pretty

I Knew Already When I Was Seven Years Old, That I Wanted To Be On Stage And Entertain People. I Sell Laughs. Here, You Got One For Free!

Whether I'm On For A Day Or Whether I'm On For A Year, At The End Of The Day, I Sing For My Dinner.

For The Last 30 Years, I've Been Leading A Life Of Crime And International Intrigue That's Involved 40 Stamps In My Passport, Love Affairs, And Broken Hearts To Go With Each One Of Them. You Would Have To Live Three Lifetimes To Catch Up With Just The Allegations That Follow Me!

If You Put A Van Halen Album In Your Record Collection, It Will Melt All The Rest Of Your Records.

Classic Van Halen Made People Want To Dance And F**k. Modern Van Halen Makes You Want To Drink Milk And Drive Foreign Cars.