Sarah Palin Is Joining Fox News. The

Stocks Are At An All-time High Today. I Don't Have Any Money In The Stock Market. I Don't Have The Stomach For The Ups And Downs. So About 20 Years Ago I Put All Of My Money And Liquid Assets Into Videotape Rewind Machines.

George W. Said He Doesn't Watch Television. And, Of Course, Well - The Reason For That Is The Clintons Stole The White House Satellite System.

Mitt Romney, Two-time Republican Presidential Candidate, Is Going To Fight Evander Holyfield For Charity. I Hope They Save Some Of That Money For Funeral Expenses.

Newt Gingrich Wants To Build A Colony On The Moon. Ok, You Say, But Why? Well, He Wants To Be The First American To Get Divorced On The Moon.

John Kerry Had Surgery On His Right Shoulder This Week To Repair Some Damage. It Was Pretty Bad, He Had No Feeling. It Was Almost Like He Was A Republican.