Satire Is Tragedy Plus Time.

All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction And Despair. If The Whole World Were Tranquil, Without Disease And Violence, I’d Be Standing On The Breadline Right In Back Of J. Edgar Hoover.

You Put A Guy On A Desert Island, He'll Do It To Mud, A Chicken, A Barrel, Anything, A Knothole.

Anyone Who Does Anything For Pleasure To Indulge His Selfish Soul Will Surely Burn In Hell.

I Hate Small Towns Because Once You've Seen The Cannon In The Park There's Nothing Else To Do.

If You're From New York And You're Catholic, You're Still Jewish. If You're From Butte Montana And You're Jewish, You're Still Goyisch. The Air Force Is Jewish, The Marine Corps Dangerous Goyisch. Rye Bread Is Jewish, Instant Potatoes, Scary Goyisch. Eddie Cantor Is Goyisch, George Jessel Is Goyisch-coleman Hawkins Is Jewish.