I Didn't Go To College, But If

If My Kid Couldn't Draw I'd Make Sure That My Kitchen Magnets Didn't Work.

I Have A "do Not Disturb" Sign On My Hotel Door. It's Time To Go To "don't Disturb". It's Been "do Not" For Too Long. We Should Embrace The Contraction.

I Had The Cab Driver Drive Me Here Backwards, And The Dude Owed Me $27.50.

I Think We Should Only Get 3 Honks A Month On The Car Horn. Then, Someone Cuts You Off, You Press The Horn, And Nothing Happens. You're Like, "crap! I Wish I Hadn't Seen Ricky On The Sidewalk!"

I Love Blackjack. But I'm Not Addicted To Gambling. I'm Addicted To Sitting In A Semi Circle.