So All My Friends Have Kids Now...

You Can't Just Yell Jokes At People.

I Don't Want To Do 20 Minutes On Donald Trump. I Want To Do 10 Minutes And Move On. I Wouldn't Even Do That With A Live Show, Because I Don't Want It To Feel Like "an Evening Of Political Comedy."

It's Not That I Don't Have Kids For Some Personal Reason Outside Of, I Just Haven't Had Kids. And I Haven't Met Someone Who Wanted To, As Far As I Know. And Perhaps I'm Attracted To Women Who Aren't Ready To Make That Commitment Just Yet.

Because You've Been On Dates Where Y'know, You Forget To Open Your Eyes And Wear Pants And Speak English.

There Are Really Funny Alternative Comics And Really Funny Straight Comics Who Write And Perform Traditionally.