So, I Travel A Lot. I Hate

I'm Not Like A Performer Type.

There's A Fine Line Between Masturbating While You Look Out A Window, And Masturbating While You're Looking In A Window. I'll Give You A Hint: One Of 'em Is Super Illegal.

I Like Doing Stand-up And I Love Putting Out Tv Specials. I'm Not An Actor Though, So I Don't Really Have Much Choice In The Matter.

The Voice In My Head Has A Stutter, And That's Really Annoying. D-d-d-dave Dave. What? K-k-k-kill Your P-p-p-parents. L-l-l-loa... Write It Down!

Sometimes You Need A Cigarette. Like After You Have Sex With A Beautiful Woman Or A Confused Young Man.