Somehow, It Was So Happy A Time.

I Always Wanted To Write As Much As Perform.

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.

The Ancient Greeks Were The First Ones To Say An Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living. They Don't Tell You Of Course What We Found Out, An Examined Life Not That Fascinating Either.

I Think Helen Of Troy Must Have Been Pretty Hot. She Got Two Countries Going Crazy For 10 Years Over Her.

The Earth Is A Used Kleenex On The Universe's Nightstand.