Sometimes I Regret Not Being Catholic. I

The Only Women I Publicly Date Are Those Who Have A Higher Imdb Rating Than Me.

Well I Can Understand Why Men Want It To Be Legal. Obviously They're All Hoping They Might Get To Marry Me Someday. I Hate To Burst Their Bubble, But They Should Just Give It Up Now. Zach Braff Doesn't Sway That Way, You Know?

Michael Eisner Contacted Me Once And Asked Me If He Could Change The Name Of Disneyland To 'braffland.' I Said No, Because Whenever I Go To Disneyland There's Always Fat People Everywhere Wearing Tight Clothes. Disneyland, Frankly, Has A Lot Of Improving To Do Before It Gets My Namesake.

Sometimes I Regret Not Being Catholic. I Think I'd Make A Pretty Good Saint.

It's All About Being A Part Of Something In The Community, Socializing With People Who Share Interests And Coming Together To Help Improve The World We Live In.