Sometimes I Sit And Think And Other

I Don't Know How Old I Am Because A Goat Ate The Bible That Had My Birth Certificate In It. The Goat Lived To Be Twenty-seven.

My Pitching Philosophy Is Simple - Keep The Ball Way From The Bat.

One Time I Snuck A Ball On With Me And When I Went To Winding Up, I Threw One Of Them Balls To First And One To Second. I Was So Smooth I Picked Off Both Runners And Fanned The Batter Without That Ump Or The Other Team Even Knowing It.

Throw Strikes. Home Plate Don't Move.

Not To Be Cheered By Praise, Not To Be Grieved By Blame, But To Know Thoroughly One's Own Virtues Or Powers Are The Characteristics Of An Excellent Man.