Sometimes I Try To Take A Nap

I'd Love To Have A Shitty Job. I Couldn't Hold Any Down. Standup Was The Only Thing I Could Stick With. I'm An Idiot That Way.

I Have Twitter So I Can Tell People What I Want Them To Buy And They Give Me Money.

Expensive Quality Work Doesn't Cost More - It Pays.

I'm Enjoying The Work While I Get It Right Now.

My Kids And I Figured Out That There’s A Third Kind Of Person, And I Don’t Know What You Call Them, But It’s Somebody Who Sees That The Glass Is Always Full Because It’s Half Full With Water And Half Full With Nothing, So That’s The Third Kind Of Person. I Don’t Know What It Is.